There's always a wait

When it comes to having a baby, there's always some sort of wait.  Right now I feel like I am in the worst wait of all, but I know that probably isn't true.  This morning broke a little piece of my heart yet again, but I'm still not giving up hope.  I know one day I will see what I want to see and I will smile at this journey, now I'm just waiting for that day to come.  Lots of waiting.  Lots of thinking.  Lots of calculating.  But most of all, a lot of tears....